Welcome Y’all. The name is MESSIE…a fitting pseudonym considering how perfectly synonymous it is to this chaotic life I live. It’s true. My life is a mess…a “train wreck waiting to happen”, as some might say (and HAVE said on occasion). I’m not going to bother to deny it. I’ve accepted the reality and decided that I’m okay with it. To take the lemons and make lemonade. This is life. And we only get the one, so it’s up to us to make the most of it. And as much as we might like it to be, life isn’t always rainbows and unicorns. It’s unpredictable and ruthless…and it doesn’t forgive or wait for anyone. But there is one truth and one constant, which is that life is meant to be LIVED. And so, that’s what I’m doing. I’m living my life. It may not always be pretty–in my experience, it’s usually pretty MESSY– but it’s mine…mess and all. And I honestly wouldn’t change a thing about it…
Just a small-town girl with big dreams, I’m indecisive and all over the place. My mind is literally a bundle of thoughts and emotions and feelings… it’s a miracle I haven’t yet succumbed to the chaos of them all. I have no illusions when it comes to leading a perfect life…for a perfect life does not exist, except for in our dreams and minds.
I’m a simple girl. I’m not looking for fame or for people to know my name. I’m perfectly content standing back in the shadows, letting others shine in the spotlight. I love and hate, with equal intensity. I’m a hopeless romantic that wears her heart on her sleeves for the whole world to see; a restless, day-dreaming gypsy with her head in the clouds, my feet barely touching the ground. There’s still so much I want to do, so many places I have yet to see and travel to, so many cultures I want to experience, so many people I want to meet…and most of all, so many mistakes and lessons in this life that I have yet to learn.
Writing is kind of my thing. It’s what I do, it’s who I am. It’s how I articulate the words I can’t bring myself to say out loud. Everything I write is purely from the heart. Sometimes it’s just stripped-down raw, and sometimes–(wait, who am I kidding) THE MAJORITY of the time–the words make absolutely no sense to anyone but me, but it is what it is. It’s my coping mechanism, a cathartic outlet for all my fears, doubts, hatred, even anger–and the million other emotions that run through my mind on any given day…my way of escaping from reality for awhile…the safety net I cling to that keeps me sane. Or as sane as I’m capable of being. Which, for what it’s worth…sanity’s a little overrated, if you ask me. Truth be told, we’re all a little insane to some degree. Some of us are just a little more resilient and better at adapting and accepting it than others.
I don’t believe in censorship. There’s no pretense in the words I write…just absolute, unadulterated truth. And as such, life can be messy sometimes. It can be incredible and horrible at the same time. Rarely does life make sense. It’s an unpredictable carousel that can start or stop at any time. It can break your heart, steal your soul, have you feeling less than whole…and sometimes, if you’re lucky–it can be wonderful. Incredible.
So cyber-world and fellow bloggers…welcome to this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life of mine…