THE TRUTH IS MESSIE…

My e-journal, all the nitty-gritty, overly-emotional, sappy stuff…

Sweet Little Girls… March 30, 2010

Filed under: CANCER & LIFE'S HARDSHIPS,Little Girls,MARCH 2010 — MESSIE @ 5:49 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Messie here. Just to give an update, Lena’s counts were good so the doctors have given the go ahead for her to start round 2 of Chemo. It sounds scary, but it’s good news. It’s hard to understand but the Chemo is supposed to help. That’s all that matters. Things are going really well with all the benefits that have been planned in Lena’s behalf. It’s uplifting to see how something as tragic as this can create so much hope. Everyone is getting involved. Total strangers who hear Lena’s story who are willing to do whatever they can to help out. That’s one of the great things about living in such a small area. Most of the time it can be pretty frustrating, especially when everyone knows everyone and there’s no such thing as privacy. But when times get hard, like this, people really pull together. It’s almost like having a really big extended family. It’s incredible. There’s going to be a huge benefit held next month with 100 percent of the proceeds going to Lena and her family to offset her medical costs. A local venue is having a concert to raise funds for cancer and for Lena. There’s a ‘locks for Lena’ benefit, as well as additional benefits that are being held. Everything helps…

I just hate that something like this has to happen. It’s just not fair. Why does life have to be so cruel? Why do bad things happen to good people? I know that without sorrow there would be no joy, but I hate it. I guess it’s so hard because she is so little. I love kids. I always have. Even when I was little, I would always be asking “can I hold the baby?” With a family as large as mine, there’s always been at least one baby around all the time. I adore them. Babies are tiny and precious and so innocent. They haven’t yet learned just how cruel the world can be…

When I was 16, my mother and grandmother were granted custody of my niece Angelina. She was just six months old at the time, so still a baby. While all my friends were out doing things that teenagers typically do, I was home helping with this beautiful little angel. I was there for her first steps and her first words. I stood there sobbing like a baby on her first day of school. She turns 7 in a few weeks. I can’t believe it’s been this long. It feels like just yesterday when she was up all night crying and we all took turns trying to quiet her down. Now she’s this precocious little girl with an attitude and mind of her own. She is so bright. Living with all adults, she is very mature for her age. There have been times when I’d be crying in my room after a fight or something with a guy. She would crawl into the bed with me and ask me why I was crying. After I told her she would smile and say “Don’t cry, he doesn’t deserve you and you have me and I love you, so you don’t need him.” Only six years old and she might as well be an expert on love. It’s crazy but she’s usually right. Heck, sometimes I think she’s smarter than me. I have another beautiful niece. She’s four and has epilepsy as well as other medical problems. They are both amazing little girls and I love them more than anything.

That’s why all of this with Lena is so hard. It makes you realize that it can happen to anyone, whether it be a stranger’s child or a child you know. It could even happen to my nieces. I can’t begin to imagine what I would do if anything like this ever happened to either one of them, I just can’t. I’d give my life for them in a heartbeat. They’re the lights of my life…in more ways than one…

xoxo,
MESSIE

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