THE TRUTH IS MESSIE…

My e-journal, all the nitty-gritty, overly-emotional, sappy stuff…

Spriiiiiiiiiing Fever… March 19, 2012

I’m just doing what I do best…procrastinating, of course. Spring Break is officially over and of course, I’m left with all this work that I could and should have done over the break–but didn’t. Ooh well. such is my life. On a different note, Spring is finally here! The weather is sunny and absolutely beautiful out…not that we really had much of a winter to complain about, but still. Another positive note–Spring Break marks the countdown to the end of the semester. Only 7ish more weeks to go. Yay! I absolutely cannot wait for this semester to be over–to finally have some semblance of a life again. That would be nice.

Another positive note…my best guy friend Ryan visited over the break–which made the break extra awesome! He’s originally from here, but for some stupid reason, he decided to move to Dallas about 6 years ago. The long-distance sucks, but we still keep in touch. Or try to, at least. He’s a great person–with the minor exception of his inflated ego–but there’s not much I can do about that (and believe me, I’ve tried LOL). Anyhow, I love him to death. He’s like a girl’s best gay guy friend, only he’s super straight. He’s unabashedly honest–sometimes too honest, I should say. There are times when I literally have to stop him and remind him that I’m a girl and therefore I’m really not interested in hearing all the intimate details of his super-exaggerated sex life. Aside from that though, he really is a great friend. I can tell him anything and everything–which I usually do–and the best part is, he doesn’t sugarcoat anything. He tells me how it is–whether I want to hear it or not. It’s refreshing–though admittedly, not always a great thing. In turn, I tell him like it is. In a way, he’s like a brother to me. Which is a little ironic, considering that wasn’t always the case. We never hooked up or anything–not technically, that is. Not for a lack of trying. Again, I should mention his huge ego and how he thinks he’s God’s gift to women and blah blah blah. I remember he tried making a move one night so many years ago and to put it nicely, it FAILED horribly. Looking back, it was actually really funny–even with bloody shins from a middle of the night run-in with a fan and an hour-long debate over who got to sleep near the window (which I won, of course :)). After that disaster, we decided we were better off as just friends. So yeah, we’re friends and that’s it. But like a brother–he’s really protective. I remember this one time in particular when I came home from school for the weekend and we all met up at some bar. I’d had a fight with my boyfriend the night before, as usual–and the black eye to prove it. It wasn’t the first one. Or the last. Normally I would have taken care of it with some cover-up, but that night I’d come straight from school and hadn’t bothered with it. It’s a horrible thing to say, but to be honest, I think I was just so used to the fights and the bruises that I hardly even gave them much thought at that point. When he saw me though–he lost it. I don’t think I’d ever seen him as angry or as furious as he was that night. I remember him pulling me aside and demanding an explanation–and how pissed he was when I just shrugged it off and told him it wasn’t a big deal. He wanted to know where my boyfriend was right then. I literally had to beg him to leave it alone. To not get involved. He was so mad and couldn’t understand why I was protecting the jerk. Truth is, the only one I was protecting was myself. I knew better. I knew that if Ryan–or anyone else, for that matter–were to get involved–that it would only make things worse. For me. A cracked rib and concussion months before had taught me that lesson. I wasn’t about to repeat that mistake. But looking back now, I almost wish I had let him go after my ex–if nothing else, it would have saved me months of further abuse. So yeah, he can be pretty protective. It just sucks that he’s so far away though. Sure, I can call him up or text him whenever, but it’s not the same as having him here. Anyhow, enough with the sentimental crap. Each time he visits, he always tries to convince me to move. It’s funny because he makes Dallas sound like Disney World–which is soooo not the case, but yeah. As much as I would love a change of scenery, it’s not going to happen. Not anytime soon, at least. It’s a good possibility however that I’m going out there for the summer–or at least for part of it. But permanent? I don’t think so. I’m not a city-girl. At all. Don’t get me wrong, I love the city-life–in small doses, that is. As corny as it sounds, I’m a small-town girl at heart.Through and through. I like the peace and quiet…

So yeah, that’s about all the time I’m allotting myself for procrastinating. Time to get down to the nitty-gritty communications and graphic design homework that’s been staring me down from the top of my desk for a week now. Happy Spring!!!

xoxo MESSIE

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