Okay, so I’m a bit curious…what is it with creepy old guys that will NOT leave me alone?! Eeek. I’m totally serious. I don’t get it. So yeah, I have a creepy stalker. He’s this guy I met months ago while I was bartending and he hasn’t left me alone since. wierd. I don’t even know the guy’s name. I mean, I’m sure he told me what it was half a dozen times or so, but I never paid much attention to it. I only know him as the “creepy coconut guy” because he would always come in with his own carton of coconut water to use with his mixed drinks so yeah, that’s where the coconut bit comes from. Anyhow, he was a total creep. And still is, I should say. I hated bartending on the days that he’d come in. He would always flirt and make suggestive and totally sexual comments each time I’d go to give him another drink. He just made me feel really uncomfortable every time.
Granted, that was part of the job–I know that. Getting hit on, drunk guys making passes and trying to cop a feel every time you walk by–it’s all part of it. You get used to it after awhile, I think. So why is coconut guy different? Well, for starters, he’s old. If I had to guess, I’d say he’s got to be in his mid to late 40’s. At the very least. Maybe even older, I don’t know. Either way, it’s creepy. I mean, he’s practically old enough to be my father! That’s weird, don’t you think? Well, I definitely do. I’m 24 years old. Why would he even think that someone my age would want to go out with a guy his age? It’s delusional. I mean, I know people say that age is just a number and whatnot, but come on…seriously? Umm, no. Not going to happen. Which is exactly what I would have loved to tell him every time he asked me out to dinner and to hang out–but of course, I couldn’t say that. After all, he was a customer. And I was the bartender…which meant that I had to play along even though just being in the same room with him made me uneasy and uncomfortable. I think the only thing I didn’t mind about him was that he gave great tips. That’s probably really rude, but it’s true. I think he thought that the more money he waved around, the better his chances that I’d give in and go out with him. Yeah, umm…no. It eventually got to the point where I wouldn’t even make his drinks–I’d get one of the other girls to take care of him.
It’s pathetic, really. I mean, you’d think the guy would have gotten the point by now. But apparently not. He still calls me constantly. I never pick up, not even once, so he’ll leave really creepy messages–saying how he’d really like to see me and hang out. He’s even left a couple of messages where he’ll literally just stay on the line until the message cuts out and all you can hear is the sound of his breathing—yeah, realllllllyy CREEPY! The part that pisses me off is that I didn’t even give him my number. He asked for it a couple of times, but I never would give it to him. So he got it himself by asking one of the other girls for my number one day when I wasn’t working. I was pissed when I found out. I mean, it would’ve been nice if they’d asked me first, you know? BEFORE they went and gave some perverted drunk my number. And I’d change my number, but I refuse to. It’s silly, but I’m on a record with the current number I have. It’s the longest I’ve ever kept a cell phone number. No joke. I couldn’t tell you the number of different numbers I’ve had over the years. It’s ridiculous. So I won’t do it. Which means, I still have to deal with his calls and messages that I don’t even bother to listen to anymore. He thinks he’s clever though because he’ll call from a couple different numbers sometimes. But since I don’t pick up calls from numbers that I don’t recognize–his little trick always fails. Sucks to be him, I guess.
It’s amusing, I’ll admit. To some degree. I mean, the guy is just so pathetic. I kind of feel sorry for him. But it’s not amusing anymore. It’s annoying. Really, really annoying. I don’t know how to get him to take a hint. I mean, I don’t return his calls. Ever. And I’ve sent him texts letting him know that I’m in a relationship with someone else and he STILL KEEPS CALLING! It’s unreal. I don’t understand…what the hell is wrong with men these days? And by that I mean the older guys who try to get with women a hell of a lot younger than themselves? Dont they find it even a little weird that the women they get with are young enough to be their daughters…or for some, their granddaughters? Apparently not, I guess. If you ask me, it’s just sick and twisted.
My friends have this theory. A theory they came up with while we were out at a bar one night. They say that the reason I have issues with creepy old guys–or old guys in general–is because I talk to them. That’s their theory. They think that by me being nice–or just polite–by having a conversation with someone–that I’m somehow encouraging them to keep talking or give them the impression that I’m interested. Which, of course–is not my intention whatsoever. I’m just trying to be nice, that’s all. But apparently, that just backfires on me. Soooo….no more talking to old guys.