So Avie and I have this cute little thing that we always say to one another:
I love you to the moon and back.
I love you the most-est.
I love you too much.
Pinky promise with a kiss.
Forever and ever.
And god, do I love her. I do. She’s like sunshine in a bottle. A breath of fresh air. She’s all energy and more energy. Nonstop. It’s crazy. She does everything at a run…like she’s afraid that she’ll miss out on something if she slows down. She’s smart and funny and wickedly independent. She’s absolutely and without a doubt, amazing.
The fact that she’s nearly 4 1/2 years old already…well, it just seems so surreal to me. Where oh where has the time gone? I remember the day that she was born. I remember it, like it was just yesterday. I remember holding her in my arms and looking down at her, thinking it was impossible to love someone as much as I loved her. She was beautiful and perfect. And she saved me.
She saved me.
She did. I was in such a dark place before she was born. It was like I was going through the paces…but I wasn’t really there. Or I didn’t want to be anyhow. So much had happened that I was certain I would never be happy again. And for a long time there, I honestly didn’t feel like I deserved to be. My secrets were slowly tearing me down and there was so much pain and resentment…and fear. There was a lot of fear. I was scared of everything. Scared of living.
But she was like this sudden, bright ring of hope in my world of darkness. She brought me back. Her smiles, the absolute trust in those gorgeous blue eyes of hers…and her unconditional love.
She saved me. My little wonder-upon-wonders.
My little Avie J.