Happy New Year!

Happy New Year Y’all!!  (Thought I’d get in the Nashie spirit, as I’ll be there in oh t-minus 8 days!! :)) ) Had a relatively normal, quiet New Year’s Eve in with my Avie J after visiting Emmie in the hospital. Poor thing had to have a PICC line put in today, which has already had to be retracted twice and she’s scheduled to go back in and have it re-done in the morning. Found out today that it IS pneumonia. They’re thinking she aspirated into her lungs and the bacteria caused the infection that caused the pneumonia. They gave my grams the option of keeping her in-hospital for the next 3-4 weeks or putting in a PICC line so she can go home and have the antibiotics administered there twice a day by my grams or my sister. They went with the latter option because it’ll allow Emma to get back to normal with school and everything…and she’s hating the hospital. She was so exhausted from the PICC procedure that she barely opened her eyes when I went there earlier to see her. Poor baby. I hate seeing her like that. She’s been through so much. I just wish she could catch a break.

Her mother showed up finally at the hospital…and stayed for not even two hours before she left to proceed with her New Year’s Eve plans. She’s such a heartless, selfish BITCH. I got so fed up that I ranted about the situation and HER specifically on my Facebook page in a very brash, very PUBLIC way. I don’t even care about the fallout. I really don’t. I’m so sick and tired of her fooling the rest of the world into thinking she’s this great mother who lives for her children when she’s a piece of sh** excuse for a parent. I mean, come on, her 9-year-old daughter is in the hospital with pneumonia so bad that she had to have a PICC line inserted in her body and her mother can’t even break her plans for the night to stay with her? It’s pathetic and sickening. And just plain wrong. And the world needs to know that. I have her blocked on my Facebook so I couldn’t tag her, but it’ll get back to her, one way or another…and then let’s see how she likes having her dirty little secret exposed. It’s past time someone called her out on it. I don’t care that it had to be me. After all, what’s she going to do to me? Bitch to my grams? My grams was warned ahead of time and she was all for it. And she can bitch and moan all she wants…but I’m leaving for Tennessee in 8 days…which means I won’t be around to have to hear it. Not that I’d give a damn if I were. She’s useless and she’s ridiculous. People like her disgust me, they really do. She doesn’t deserve to be a mother. At all.

Emmie in Golisano hospital with pneumonia 12.31.14

 

This was Emma when I visited her earlier. I don’t get it. I mean, how does anyone–a mother especially–leave her sick child like this in the hospital and go out clubbing and celebrating? How do they live with themselves? I’ll never understand it. Never. It isn’t right. Emma is a beautiful, amazing little girl and she deserves better. It’s unconscionable and unforgivable.

I really don’t get it. I mean, I’m not their mother, but I’d still move heaven and earth or walk on fire for these kids. And they’re not even mine. I don’t understand people like her…people who bring innocent children in the world when it’s so obvious that holding the title of “parent” is a role they clearly don’t want. If you don’t want the responsibility, then why have a child at all? There’s a reason for why I did what I did and chose not to be a parent…and it’s because I’m terrified. I really am. I’m deathly afraid that I might be like my mother and Emma’s mother and realize after the fact that I’m not mother material. I mean, I love kids. I love my nieces and nephews more than anything, but in a way, I think it’s easier to love them because they aren’t actually mine. I know that I’d love my child…but it’s not that. It’s my fear that I’ll somehow screw up that child…and I don’t think I could ever live with myself if I did that. So, at least for now, I’m going to stick with what’s safe…for now. As for the future…well, we’ll see…

Anyhow, enough of the negativity…here’s to a brand new year, starting off fresh in Tennessee. Hopefully it’ll be a great one!

And here’s Avie J herself with a little shout-out that she recorded before passing out at 11. 🙂

Happy New Year Everyone and Here’s To A (Hopefully) Great 2015!!!

 xoxoMESSIE

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