It’ll be three weeks on Saturday that I’ve been down here in Nashville. In some ways, it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long, and in others, it feels as though I’ve been caught up in a whirlwind. It’s crazy. Everything is happening so fast, it seems. Classes are well under way and the work is picking up. I’m glad I decided to only take a couple of classes this semester. The students I spoke with back in April when I came down to visit the school and sit-in on a couple classes weren’t kidding when they said the workload is insane. The school definitely takes the curriculum here seriously, that’s for sure. The heavy workload aside, I’m glad I choose the two classes that I did. The photography class I’m taking is pretty awesome. The professor is really nice and laid-back and the people in the class are downright hilarious. We get along really well with one another and have the most random conversations. Today, for instance, these two guys in the class started a heated argument with each other over Kim Kardashian, of all people. In a nutshell, the one guy shared his opinion on Kim’s so-called talent–or lack thereof, according to him. The other guy–clearly a big Kim Kardashian fan–took offense by the comment…starting a back-and-forth little banter. The rest of us just sat there and watched them go at it, finding it nothing less than amusing. Like I said…so random.
Anywho, we’ve started working with our 35mm cameras, which is fun. I’m already familiar with working with the cameras from a photography class I took in New York a couple of semesters before I moved down here. That class dealt specifically with black and white 35mm film, which we had to process and develop ourselves in the darkroom. As much as I love working in the darkroom, developing the film itself could be such a tedious task at times. We’re not doing that in this photo class though. We just have to take it to Walgreens or a photo place and they develop the film for us. It’s so much easier that way. Instead of black and white, this class deals with color film, so it’s a brand-new playing field. And we get to play around with Photoshop…which, of course, is always fun to do. Well, for me, at least.
We’ve had a couple of 2-D classes so far, which isn’t too bad. The professor is old school, so the lectures are pretty long-winded. After the first class, I seriously contemplated dropping the class and registering for a different one. I really wasn’t looking forward to spending 6 hours a week absolutely bored out of my mind…or having to do all the drawing and painting that’s in the syllabus, for that matter. It’s not that I can’t draw…because I can. I just don’t like to. The same goes for painting. Unfortunately, it’s a foundation course, meaning I have to take it whether I want to or not. Hopefully the pace was pick up soon and ease some of the boredom. Hopefully.
I start work on Friday…which is really exciting. I think I’m going to like working there. I really do.
It still feels a little bit surreal to me that I’ve already got a job down here in just a couple of weeks time. It’s also really scary because now it means I’m going to have a reason to stay come summer and not go back to New York as I’d originally considered. I still feel a little guilty about it…contemplating not going back. I’m still having moments where I wonder if I’m doing the right thing or if I made a mistake by moving here. I don’t feel like it was a mistake, but the uncertainty is still there. It’s hard to imagine myself building a life here, 900 miles away from everyone I know and love. Honestly, I never thought I’d do it. If someone had told me 5 years ago that I’d be living here in Nashville, contemplating setting down roots here…I wouldn’t have believed them. But here I am…and I’m happy. Really and truly happy. I love this city. Now, I can’t imagine moving back to New York and ever leaving this place. I feel like there’s so much more here for me than there was in New York. I mean, there’s my family and friends, but excluding them, there’s really not much else. I feel like I can finally be myself here. I don’t have to pretend anymore that I was happy when I really wasn’t. I don’t have to keep looking over my shoulder, running from and trying to hide from the gritty parts of my past. There’s no one or anything holding me back. No impossible expectations thrown at me, expecting to be met. I’m in control of my own life again…finally. I’m where I’m supposed to be…