All In.

So I did something incredibly crazy/reckless/pick an adjective…basically. I moved in with a couple of guys that I literally met on Craigslist. Yes, I know, totally insane. And yet…so typical MESSIE. Although it sounds kind of sordid when I write it like that…I assure you that it’s not. At least not in the way it most likely sounds at first glance. Anyhow, here’s the back-story…

So, the semester ended this week, with Wednesday night being my last class. With the semester over, that meant time to move out of res hall that has served as my “humble” abode these past five months. While I can’t express my elation over the fact that I no longer have to live in the same quarters as the two most ridiculously inconsiderate/rude and unbelievably lazy individuals that I had the misfortune of having to be roommates with–the moving itself wasn’t exactly the best of timing. Mostly for the fact that I’m an idiot and waited–literally–until the very last possible minute to find another place to live. It’s not that I was being deliberately obtuse…I’m just (admittedly) a huge procrastinator and somehow was convinced I think that I had all the time in the world…until obviously, I didn’t. It just kind of snuck up on me–the end of the semester, I mean. In fact, these past five months as a whole seem to have gone by at lightening speed for me. You know the whole “time flies when you’re having fun” adage…yeah. Major YEAH. Anyhow, stupid me didn’t think it’d be tough at all to find a place, considering I was already in Nashville and all. Yeah, BIG assumption on my part…big FAILED assumption, I should say. Real estate down here…it’s kind of ridiculous. Especially when it’s a week and a half into the month and every place that at least seems decent on a paper won’t let you sign a lease until the first of June, at the earliest. So, to put it nicely…I was screwed. And not in a good way, either.

My family–not surprisingly–thought I should go home to New York for the summer. An option that wasn’t an option–and was dead-set AGAINST, for that matter. They didn’t get it. They thought I was ridiculous when I told them that I just knew that if I went back, it wouldn’t just be for the summer…that I knew that if I did go back, I’d never get back to Nashville. I can’t explain how I know it, I just do. I know how crazy it gets up there. I know how persuasive my family can be. More than that, I know how damn hard it was for me to get the nerve to leave like I did back in January, hell, even when I left a few weeks ago when I visited. It was so hard. I spent that entire drive back to the airport the day I left to come back to Nashville and the majority of the flight just second-guessing myself and wondering if I was doing the right thing. I mean, there’s only so much a person can take and I know my limits. Everyone thinks I’m fearless and so brave for doing this on my own, 900 miles away from everyone and everything I’ve ever known…and they couldn’t be further from the truth. I may look and seem fearless on the surface, but inside…hell, inside I’m an absolute quivering mess. I’m scared. Hell, I’m fucking terrified…every single minute of every day. I feel like I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. Like I’m just making it all up as I go along. And in a lot of ways, I guess I am. And yeah, part of it is exhilarating and thrilling…but mostly, it’s scary. It’s really, really scary.

Anyhow, so in my near-desperation to find a place, I happened across an ad some guy had posted on Craigslist for a room in his house he was renting out. For the hell of it, I reached out to him and it just so happened that the room was still available. The morning of the day I had to check out of the res hall, we made plans to meet up early–as he was going to be leaving for the weekend and going back to visit his family in Missouri. I literally hadn’t even known him for 24 hours before that meeting took place. I was totally taking a chance on nearly everything. My mother, sister, grams–even my Dad–were all like hell no…don’t do it…you don’t know the guy…he could be one of those psycho Craigslist killers…just don’t do it…don’t even think about it–they all warned me and said. It was crazy–not gonna lie–and probably one of the most rash decisions I’ve ever made–and I’m made a few–but I was in a corner. It was either take a chance and have faith in the fact that not everyone in the world is out to screw you over or harm you…or go back to New York. And while it might seem crazy–at that moment, going back to New York seemed a hell of a lot scarier than meeting up with/moving in with some complete stranger right then.

Now that I’ve had a minute to really process it…I’m beginning to wonder if maybe this was a little too rash–even for me. I mean the guy seems like a perfectly nice guy. He’s just a few years older than me and did kind of the same thing I did by leaving my family and moving hundreds of miles away. Like myself, he comes from a pretty large, close-knit family and also like myself–he’s the only one out of the bunch to take off for lands unknown and not live within a 10 mile radius of the rest of his family.  He seems like a nice guy, at least from my first impression of him. He’s a bartender–wouldn’t it figure–and so he’s rarely ever home, he claims. He’s also a big outdoorsy type guy with like hunting and fishing and going out on one of his several boats. I think there’s got to be at least 4 or 5 deer mounted on his living room wall–no lie. But all in all, he seems like a normal guy. There’s another roommate that’s been in and out a couple of times in the past day or so, but I have yet to actually meet him. I’m hoping he’s an okay guy as well. Time will tell, I guess.

So far, so good. I’m going to play this all by ear and hopefully not end up in a bad situation that I can’t get myself out of. I have faith that this will all somehow work out in the end. I mean, I have to. It’s really all that I’ve got left at this point. Faith. Which is kind of ironic…but what the hell. You only live once right?

Until Next Time. (And crossing my fingers that I won’t end up in pieces scattered along the banks of the Cumberland that there will be an next time…)



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