Well, it’s only been a few days into this NY visit and things have already gone to HELL. Honestly, I’m not surprised…but you’d think I’d have learned by now that things are never EVER going to change around here and that my family is just as messed up–if not more–than they’ve always been…and yet, it doesn’t seem as though I’ve learned. At all.
It all started Friday morning. I literally drove straight through from Tennessee, starting out about 4am or so (C-time) Thursday morning and didn’t get into New York and my family’s until sometime around 10pm or so. The kids didn’t have school Friday, so they waited up for me. Naturally, I was exhausted and crashed. Then bright and early Friday morning Emma gets up (poor thing conked out before I got there), sees my truck outside and of course, had to come running upstairs to see me. I was exhausted, but I stayed up to play with her for a little bit. My grams comes up to give Emmie her morning meds and mentions that she wasn’t feeling well. So I thought I’d be nice and keep the kids occupied for a bit while she went back to bed for a little while. So she goes back downstairs and not 10 minutes later, Avie is climbing the stairs to tell me “the bitch is here”, meaning the aunt I hate more than anyone and cannot stand AT ALL. And she knows it. So when she saw my truck out front did she turn-around and leave? Hell no. The bitch came right in the house anyways. And my grams didn’t tell her to leave…as usual. So, I was pissed-off. Livid. And with good reason, I might add. I mean, seriously? She’s literally at my grams’ every damn day, pretty much from 7ish in the morning until well into the afternoon. EVERY DAY. It’bullshit. I mean, what in the hell do two people have to talk about for hours at a time, every single day? Nothing good, that’s what. But it’s frustrating as hell. Especially considering I’d just driven nearly 16 hours, they knew I was coming, and not 7 hours in New York, she’s starting trouble and being there even though she knows damn well that I can’t stand her there while I’m there. She’s a bitch, plain and simple. And my grams’ does nothing. She lets her do it, even though she knows I hate it. She’s always telling me to “get over myself” in regards to the situation with my bitch aunt and her even more of a bitch, my cousin Jennifer…which only serves to piss me off even more. There’s nothing to get over with. My aunt has spent the past 30 years competing with and resenting my siblings and I for my grams loving us more (than her kids) and treating us better when we were all growing up. She acts like just because she was my grams’ first-born that she’s entitled to every damn thing there is. She acts like a spoiled fucking princess. Always having to be the center of attention. Always pissing off members of my family because she does and says whatever the hell she likes with no regard for anyone else’s feelings/wishes,…or even common decency, for that matter. She acts like she does and gets away with it, yet my grams’ is telling me to get over myself. There’s nothing to get over. My aunt is a conniving, vindictive bitch. Always has been. Always will be. As for her daughter, my cousin, well that bitch can go you-know-where, right along with her mother after the shit she pulled on me years ago. As far as either of them are concerned, they don’t exist. And I’m not the one who needs to get over myself, it’s those two. As for my grams–she’s the pot calling the kettle–seeing how she’s still PO’ed at my estranged aunt that ran her mouth years and years ago, convincing my uncle to sever all times with the family when they got married over 20 years. He’s had nothing to do with us since and my grams can’t stand that woman, still….and it’s the same damn thing with my aunt/cousin and I. But she refuses to admit the connection. Of course…it’s her. And she’s always right.
Even though she’s not.
Anyhow, I got mad and left. Then the next day I get a text from my sister warning me that she’d invited them to the family cookout for Memorial Day…thinking she was doing the decent thing by texting me and letting me know. Which was, again, bullshit. She knew I was there. I was at her place visiting the day before and she didn’t say a word about it. Had to tell me in a text. I told her off. She can’t even stand them, yet she was going to let them in her house? She’s a hypocrite, and I told her so. That was pretty much the final straw…so I left. Ended up driving out to Indiana and seeing my dad/meeting my stepmom. Cooled off a bit.
Just got back from there late last night. I don’t have to be down in Nashville until the 10th, so it was the smartest option to go back to NY. So I did. And my mother claims to have told my aunt/cousin they are to leave if they ever see my car out front. Yeah right. They’ll never follow that. They don’t give a damn. And then they wonder why I don’t consider NY home anymore. It’s because it’s not. It hasn’t felt like home in a really long time. They throw out the word “love”, yet they don’t have a loyal bone in their bodies…and that’s part of loving someone.
Anyhow, Ryan plans on moving back down with me when I go back next month. We’re getting a place. Hopefully it all works out.
So, that’s my update. Hope everyone had a safe and enjoyable holiday weekend!